steven wright

steven wright nasceu a 6 de dezembro de 1955. é um dos mais geniais cómicos norte-americanos, com um estilo muito característico de actuar, sempre de forma pausada, com tom de voz monocórdico e arrastado. com apenas 30 anos lançou um disco com uma actuação sua, chamado "i have a pony", que recebeu excelentes críticas e foi mesmo nomeado para um grammy. chegou inclusivamente a vencer um óscar, na categoria de melhor curta metragem, com "the appointments of dennis jennings". na televisão, o seu papel mais conhecido foi na primeira série da sitcom "mad about you", como assistente da personagem interpretada por paul reiser. depois, no cinema, entrou em filmes como "natural born killers", "reservoir dogs" (apenas voz), "the muse" e "coffee and cigarettes". em 1990 produziu o seu primeiro trabalho de stand-up, chamado "wicker chairs and gravity". só dezasseis anos depois, em 2006, voltou a produzir um outro, "steven wright: when the leaves blow away", quando sentiu que o seu público estava a ficar muito velho e quis "agarrar" uma outra geração. em 2005, numa sondagem para eleger o "cómico dos cómicos", o seu número de stand-up ficou entre os 50 melhores de todos os tempos. numa outra votação, do canal comedy central, ficou em 23º lugar na lista dos 100 melhores cómicos stand-up de sempre.

na minha lista dos melhores humoristas figuraria sempre! aqui ficam alguns exemplos do seu "material" humorístico:

- Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

- I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one... It wasn't doing what I was doing.

- I tried to draw my shadow once, but I couldn't... My arm kept moving.

- I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is. Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think I might have written that."

- I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.

- My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it. So I'm going to move to New York.

- A friend of mine once sent me a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."

- Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

- It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.

- When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

- I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.

- I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

- One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab. The movie cost me $95.

- I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50. So I said, "Give me two boys and a girl."

- I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

- There's a pizza place near where I live that sells only slices. In the back you can see a guy tossing a triangle in the air.

- I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."

- I went into a clothes store the other day and a salesman walked up to me and said, "Can I help you?" And I said "Yeah, do you got anything I like?" He said, "What do you mean do we have anything you like?" I said, "You started this."

- I have the oldest typewriter in the world. It types in pencil.

- I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

- I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

- I want to start a car repair shop. I have already got the air for the tires.

- I like to pick up hitchhikers. When they get in the car I say, "Put on your seat belt. I want to try something. I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it."

- One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."